How Enemies Are Made: New Research Reveals Key Social Triggers

No one enjoys having an enemy. Most people go out of their way to avoid hostility and social conflict. But what exactly causes someone to become an enemy?

A new study suggests that aversive behaviors—actions that others find off-putting—may significantly increase the likelihood of social clashes that turn into lasting enmity. However, until now, researchers have struggled to determine whether being disliked leads to these behaviors or if these behaviors cause social rejection.

Groundbreaking research from Florida Atlantic University provides clear insights into this cause-and-effect relationship. Published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence, the study tracked students over the course of a school year, revealing a striking pattern:

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Students who exhibited unpleasant or antagonistic behaviors early in the school year were much more likely to develop enemy relationships by year-end.

This suggests that negative social behaviors come first, increasing the risk of conflict and social rejection over time.

These findings have important implications for youth development, education, and conflict resolution. By identifying and addressing problematic behaviors early, educators and parents may help prevent long-term hostility and improve peer relationships.

As researchers continue to explore social dynamics, this study offers valuable insights into how enemies are made—and how these conflicts might be avoided.

The study involved more than 300 Florida students ages 9 to 14 years old attending diverse public primary and middle schools. Students completed surveys at the beginning, middle and end of the school year. At each time point, students identified classmates they disliked. Enemies (also known as mutual antipathies) were defined as dyads in which both partners disliked one another. Students also nominated classmates who did well in school and who were prosocial, as well as those who were aggressive and those who were disruptive. Self-reports described emotional instability and emotional problems.

“Enemies or mutual antipathies occur when two people dislike each other. Ill will needs to be reciprocated. Both parties need to share the same feeling. Mutual antipathies are not very common; less than 5% of students in our study had enemies,” said Brett Laursen, Ph.D., senior author and a professor of psychology within FAU’s Charles E. Schmidt College of Science.