London opens its heart to brave Israeli war widows in need of support

V Tal’s husband Chen was a professional soldier, a sniper in an elite counter-terrorism unit.

She never worried about him. “In ten years only two soldiers from his unit had lost their lives,” she said. “We believed that nothing bad would happen.”

But on October 7, Chen died a hero in the town of Sderot, fighting until he’d used the last bullet from his second gun, even though he had been shot himself. Now Tal is the single mother of their four children.

Lior’s husband Gal had finished his tour of duty in Gaza and was heading home for Chanukah last December.

He died in a car accident in southern Israel. “I cannot accept it,” said Lior. “Not in combat, not in a mission. I lost three people, my husband, my best friend and the father of my kids.”

Tal and Lior are just two of Israel’s hundreds of new war widows, bereaved in the conflict that started when Hamas attacked on October 7. They were part of a group of 12 women who visited London this week, sightseeing and shopping, visiting the theatre and museums and being pampered on a spa day staffed entirely by volunteers from the local Jewish community. They had a meeting with Israel’s ambassador to the UK, Tzipi Hotovely on Monday.

The trip was a joint venture between the British charity GIFT, which funded the visit by selling ‘bring them home’ necklaces, and the Israeli organisation OneFamily, which supports bereaved families and wounded service personnel. In a country that has fought as many wars as Israel, OneFamily’s job is immense and touches many lives.

The widows, aged from 28 to 42, left their children at home in Israel with family and babysitters. They stayed with volunteer hosts, and, said Lior, felt “surrounded by a huge hug. No stress, no worry, and the rooms are better than at a hotel. They thought of everything to make us feel at home.”

For Tal, it was heart-warming “knowing that the community in London is thinking about us and caring about us. It’s not about sending money. People really care and are with us”.

The women were accompanied by Nava Formanski, OneFamily’s central Israel co-ordinator, who has worked for the organisation for 23 years, offering practical and emotional support, all kinds of therapies and advice. She has helped thousands of families over the years and added 500 more to that list in the last year.

It was not easy to pick just 12 widows, and Nava winced as she remembered the ones left behind who asked why they were not chosen. She hopes another visit can be arranged. But her aim was to create a group who would get on well, and support each other, creating bonds that would last beyond the week in London.

Her success was clear as the widows explained what the trip meant to them. “The best thing,” said Tal,” is the relationship between us. When we talk behind the scenes we can say anything, and someone will understand.”

“To be with girls who know what I am going through, to talk about everything, feel everything, say everything and do everything,” said Lior. “It will mean I can go back to Israel with a lot of strength.”

Lior met her husband when they served in the army together. They both chose to dedicate their life to IDF service, with Lior moving to an office job in the military police once their children, Omer, now five, and Noam, now three, were born.  Like Tal, even though her husband was a soldier, Lior never worried. “He was a person who made you feel the safest. Everything will be OK,” she said. She went back to work for the IDF less than two months after Gal’s death. “It is hard to hear about the war, but I feel that I need to do it. It is my mission now, the army and the kids. The kids and the army.”

In Hendon on Monday, the widows met members of the community who are hosting them. There was music, cocktails and sushi, a warm atmosphere that encouraged the widows to bravely share their stories. In the background, large screens showed a slideshow of the women with their husbands and children. Their faces lit up as they caught a glance of the happy lives they’d had.

Adi, 31 described the morning of October 7, when she argued with her husband, Noam – “the love of my life” – when he wanted to go and fight the terrorists who had invaded southern Israel. He and his brother, Yishai, left their homes in Beersheva to help defend Kibbutz Alumim. 

Both died in the battle. It took three days before Noam was identified and Adi was informed. Now she is raising their baby son alone.

“Do not feel sorry for us,” Lior told the crowded room. “We had wonderful lives with our husbands. Now we will be strong for our country and our children.”